Say Yes to the Dress: Baby Challenge Edition

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This entry is all about Hadley picking out her wedding dress, makeup, and hairstyle with funny comments from her mother and Zoey...so if wedding dresses and funny/catty comments about them aren't your thing, you can pass this entry right up and miss nothing...just thought I'd throw that out before you read the whole thing expecting to see something besides wedding dresses and random hilarity...I pretty much just did this for fun...I went about planning Hadley's wedding much like a mother of the bride would, so I really enjoyed picking out her dress...so anyway...less rambling, more writing about Hadley!

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Mom, Zoey, and I go into the local dress shop and pretty much bombard the sales girl...I actually feel a little sorry for her.  My mother is in full planning mode...which generally results in a bad case of ADD, Aunt Z is looking around at all the dresses in horror, and I can see she's getting overwhelmed already...and then I (who is supposed to be the most freaked out, considering I'm the one getting married) am just trying to calm everyone down.

So I settle both my mothers down on the couch in front of the changing room with some glasses of sparkling wine, instruct the shop girl to keep the dresses coming, and start changing.

I come out in an extremely casual, long sundress.
Zoey: Um...
Mom: No...I know you want casual, but this is extreme...and your boobs look like they're trying to escape...you need more support than that.
Me: Yeah...I think you're right.
Zoey: Agreed....Next!

Next, I come out in a one-strapped slightly more formal dress...
Zoey: This one is a little too formal...
Mom: True...and can I be honest?
Me: Dear God...fine. (She says that when she's pretty sure what she's going to say is going to be a little insulting)
Mom: Well...this dress isn't really good for your figure...I can see some tummy.
Zoey:...not that you're fat...you're beautiful...
Mom: Just not in that dress...
I roll my eyes and head back in.

Next a strapless dress with a sea foamish sash.
Mom: This is much better...see how it accentuates your figure...
Zoey: Yeah..and it's not too formal or too casual...
Me: So you both actually like it?
Mom: Well...it's headed in the right direction...
Zoey: It looks kind of weird at the top...
Me: Yeah...and I'm not crazy about the skirt...
Mom: That's what I was going to say...can you even walk in that thing?
I try and just about trip...
Me: Barely...
Next!

Zoey: Ok, what exactly is going on here?
Mom: Hmm...I'm not really sure...it looks perfect for a classy toga party...
I just walk back into the dressing room.

Something about this dress is really familiar...

Mom:  Hmm..this is pretty...I'm not crazy about the boob coverage...
Me: I'm not picking out a cell phone provider...I like it...it's a little sexy, not too formal, and not too casual.
Zoey: I like it...it's really pretty...

Mom: I'm still not sold...what else we got?

Mom & Zoey: Ick!
Me: Well dang...that's a pretty fierce reaction...
Mom: You look like a cupcake...
Zoey: It's a little too princess-y for you.
Me: Got it...

Mom: 1954 called, it wants its dress back.

Zoey: Here we go with the over-frilly dresses again....
Mom: It's pretty...but...
Me: Yeah, it doesn't work.

Zoey & Mom: Oooh.
Mom: That's pretty...
Me: Yeah...maybe a little too formal?
Mom: Maybe...but I like it...
Me: We'll put it down as a maybe.

Mom: Z, didn't you get married in something like this?
Zoey: Yeah, I remember needing something on my arms to keep from freezing...
Me: I don't think it works with my figure...
Mom: Yeah, you kind of have linebacker shoulders in that...

Zoey: Eek!
Me: Yeah, this says...
Mom: I don't hang my sheets on a clothesline, I hang them around my neck?
Me: Um...something like that.

Me: But look how awesome my ass looks...Mason would like it...
Zoey: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that...
Mom: I agree, worry about how your ass is going to look in your honeymoon lingerie...

Me: Fine...

Zoey: Ooh, I like it...
Mom: Me too...it's really pretty...
Me: Yeah...a little restricting in the back though...

Mom: ew...
Zoey: Double ew...
Me: Wow guys, don't hold back, tell me how you really feel...
Mom: You can't seriously tell me you like it.
Me: No...but still...

Mom: Go change.

Zoey: Aww, now that's pretty...
Me: Yeah...it's got a little too much going on though...

Zoey: Yeah...and it's a little too short...

Mom: Next!
Me: Are you talking about the dresses or the wine?
Mom: Both...hop to it!

Zoey: Aww hell...
Mom: Seriously?
Me: What?

Mom: Do we really need to tell you?  No one looks like a blushing bride in see-through material...
Me: Right...

Zoey: interesting...
Mom: Good Lord, this looks like something you put on under the dress...

Mom and Zoey: oooh.
Me: I think it's a little too formal...
Mom: Well geez, you aren't getting married in a potato sack...
Me: I know...but I want to wear something I'm comfortable in...can you actually see me eating mini ham salad sandwiches and shrimp cocktail in this?
Zoey: We might have to beat you if you go near that dress with cocktail sauce...
Me: Exactly.

Zoey: Hey, Amy, I think this is your dress...
Mom: Yeah, it looks a lot like it, doesn't it...
Me: I still think it's too formal...
Mom: Ok, fine...

Zoey: Umm...
Mom: PETA will go after you wearing that crap around your shoulders.
Me: It's faux...
Mom: Well faux-get about it...
Me: Haha...damn, where is the pun police when I need them?

Mom: Now this is more like it...

Me: Yeah, and check out how my ass looks in this!
Zoey: La, la, la...I'm not hearing you...
Mom: Ok, put it down as a maybe...

Mom: Awww,
Zoey: Widga-widga...
Me: It's still really not me...
Mom: Yeah, and the straps dangling like that make it look like you don't know how to dress yourself...

Mom: Awww,
Zoey: This is cute.
Me: yeah, it still doesn't feel right...

Me: No.
Mom: Why?
Zoey: What's wrong with it?

I turn around to reveal a hideous bow.
Mom & Zoey: Ahh!
Me: See my point?
Mom: Damn!  It scares me to think someone thought this was pretty...
Zoey: Yeah...they ruined a perfectly good dress with an ugly ass bow...

Zoey: Eww!
Mom: Are you serious?
Me: I'm thinking no...
Mom: I'm thinking, Wedding at the Saloon!
Me: Yeah...definitely a no.

In the end, I decide on this one...

Something about this one feels right.

Next thing we do is work on my makeup...

Then decide on this hairstyle.

Well, at least all that is decided...now I'm exhausted.