The Reed Family Baby Challenge: Gen. 2: Babies 18 & 19: Girls Are Too Damned Dramatic

Remember how I had an unexpected phone call last time, but then went into labor?

Well, it was my sister, Caroline.

Bonnie: Hey! What are you doing here?!

Caroline: What? I can't visit my older sister?

Bonnie: Older by three minutes, lady. Let's not get carried away.

Caroline: Three minutes, three years, I just find solace in the fact that you're always going to be older than me.

I nudge her in the ribs.

Bonnie: So, what brings you here?

Caroline: Oh, you know...just doing some traveling...

There's something she's not telling me.

Bonnie: Okay, what's going on?

Caroline: What? What do you mean?

Bonnie: Don't give me that. You always pick your cuticles when you're nervous about something...

Caroline: Are you kidding? I'm always nervous about something...OCD, remember?

Bonnie: Yeah, but this is something different...what is it?

Caroline: Okay...don't hate me...

Bonnie: I could never hate you...

Caroline: Illena's here.

Bonnie: Shit. I hate you.

Caroline: Don't be mad...

Bonnie: Why?

Caroline: She called me and said we need to go on a vacay, so I thought we could come see you...

Bonnie: You thought? Or was it her idea? The small children she's eating and spitting out aren't doing it for her anymore?

I turn around and see her on the swing set.

Caroline: Bonnie...She's...

Bonnie: Don't even start to defend her...and don't think I'm not pissed that you have apparently taken her side.

Caroline: I haven't taken anyone's side...Geez...I thought you would at least have grown up a little bit after all these years...

Bonnie: I'm plenty grown, I'm just not a masochist. You know every time Illena and I get together we fight...like, epic fight...I really don't have the stomach for it anymore.

Caroline: Come on, sis...just talk to her...maybe you all can get along now...come on, didn't you say something about having daughters that fight all the time? What would you say to them if they were in this situation?

Bonnie: I would tell them to stay on different sides of the continent...which was what Illena and I were doing...with great success...

Caroline: It wouldn't bother you that the two of them never got along? Twins?

Bonnie: *sigh* You know, it's a cheap shot to use my children against me.

Caroline: As an aunt, I feel it's my right.

Bonnie: Damn it.

Even though I would rather have a root canal and a gynecological exam at the same time, I walk over to my sister.

She looks over at me with a half smile, but doesn't say anything. Hmm, could that be humility? I guess we'll see.

Bonnie: Hey...

Illena: Hey...

Just as I sit down on the swing, a police officer walks over...how appropriate...

Bonnie: So...how are you?

Illena: I'm doing fairly well, actually. My unit is being transferred and it might be to here.

Bonnie: It's a nice place to live.

Illena: Hmm...

There it is. That "I'm Better Than Everyone Else" attitude I remember....not so fondly.

Illena: Well, Bonnie, I understand that you have taken on the same challenge mother did. How is that going?

Bonnie: Oh...yeah, it's great...I just gave birth to my 16th and 17th children. I've had like, fifteen girls in a row, which isn't natural, but I think it's some kind of payback...having all these children is a lot of hard work, but it's rewarding.

Illena: Oh...of course...

Bonnie: What about you? Any prospects? Any children?

Illena: Me? Oh, Bonnie, I've had better things to do with my time than spend it having an unnatural amount of children.

Seriously? Did she say what I think she just said?

Bonnie: Well, I don't consider it a waste of my time...

Illena: Oh, I'm sure. Don't get me wrong Bonnie, I think it's a fine way for you to spend your time.

Bonnie: But what? It's beneath you? You know, being a mother is probably one of the most rewarding things anyone can do.

Illena: Well, I've been busy working for our government, consulting with the space program, solving wide-scale problems for our entire country, but I'm sure that pales in comparison to wiping runny noses all day.

Okay...bitch is going down.

Bonnie: Do you even hear yourself? Do you know how insulting you're being?

Illena: Bonnie, I'm not trying to insult you. If you are insulted by the facts, that's your problem, not mine.

Bonnie: They aren't facts! They're your warped view of the world...if you had any idea what it was like to be a mother...

With that, Illena blows up as well.

Illena: Now who's being insulting? Do you know how infuriating it is having no children of your own and being constantly reminded that the most important thing in a woman's life is being a mother?

Bonnie: Well, maybe you wouldn't hear that so much if you weren't so dismissive...and quite frankly, an uppity bitch.

Illena: I'm being a bitch?!

Caroline takes that moment to intervene, thank goodness.

Caroline: Okay, well, that went...pretty much as we all expected. Illena come on, let's go...Bonnie, I'll call you and we'll get together soon.

After I recover from the spat I got in with Illena, I come home to Peyton and Kennedy.

Bonnie: It's birthday time, girls! Who's excited?

Peyton & Kennedy: Yay!

Peyton grows up to be slightly chubby with blue eyes and brown hair. She looks a lot like her father.

Kennedy looks a little like me, but not exactly. I'm not sure where she gets her looks, to be honest.

That evening, it's Autumn's birthday.

She grows up to be a gorgeous teenager, as I expected. She looks a lot like her father.

Of course, it seems like she has her grandmother's temper. Francis comes over to see Peyton and Kennedy and gets a little fresh with her...she looks a lot older than she is.

Autumn: Are you kidding me? You're old enough to be my father, and even if you weren't, you act like a big jerko!

Miranda, ever the diplomat, talks to her about better communication skills.

Miranda: See, in that situation, you should have politely declined his advances...

Autumn: Screw that, sis. He tried to grab my ass!

Miranda: Eww! Seriously? Okay, than you should have slapped him...

Autumn: My thoughts exactly.

Next, it's Alexis & Scarlet's turn to age up.

Alexis has my hair color, but looks a lot like her father.

Scarlet looks a little more like me, and she has light brown hair like her great-grandmother.

Over the weekend, I work with the girls on their skills...Alexis picks up talking very quickly.

Just when I think things can't get anymore complicated, I hear Peyton yelling from outside.

Peyton: Mom!

Bonnie: What? Why are you screaming?

Peyton: Look!

She pointed to an older looking little fluffy dog...obviously malnourished...

Peyton: Can we keep him, Mom?

Bonnie: *sigh* Fine...what do you want to name him?

Peyton: Hmm...I don't know...

WHAT SHOULD WE NAME THIS DOG? HE WILL REMAIN UNNAMED UNTIL SOMEONE COMES UP WITH A GOOD ONE FOR HIM...

Have I mentioned I love having children because I can use them as slave labor? I still like to spend the weekends putting the kids to work. Autumn helps with the young ones...

Miranda makes the beds...

Bella works in the garden...

Peyton takes out the trash...

...and Kennedy helps with the twins as well.

I leave the older girls in charge as I get invited to a party Caroline is throwing. Apparently, she and Illena are moving in town. Caroline got a job as a chef at the local bistro, and Illena is being transferred here.

Even though I never see Caroline, I meet Daniel Pleasant. He is a local celebrity and is married with twin girls. He mentions though that he would like to take part in my challenge.

When I get home, the twins have both learned all their skills, so it's birthday time!

Alexis is adorable in pig tails....

....and Scarlet is already starting with the eye-rolling....

Since all the girls are in school, I don't really know what to do with myself during the day...so I spend some time working out...that never hurts, right?

That night, Bella and Miranda tell me they have been working really hard and would like to age up, I have to agree with them.

Miranda ages into a resourceful young woman...she's not sure what she wants to do, but I have no doubt that she'll excel at whatever it is.

Bella, though she has attitude problems, is very capable and I'm sure she will make something out of her life.

Since they move out, I get to work immediately on finding another baby daddy. I meet him at a club. His name is Ed Henry. He isn't the most attractive thing, but there's something about him...

Turns out he has heard of me and we get right down to business until I hear that lullaby.

The next day, I make a new rule...the girls keep missing the bus, so I'm making them wait. I'm sick of getting notes from their teachers about how they are tardy all the time.

While they're gone, I try to teach the dog some tricks...geez, I need a hobby.

That night is birthday night. Somehow, Peyton, Kennedy, Scarlet, and Alexis all have A's and are ready to age up at the same time, so I just let them go.

Though Peyton has a weight problem, it suits her somehow. She is beautiful.

Kennedy is gorgeous as well, and she over-does it enhancing her beauty with too much eye makeup.

Scarlet is gorgeous with piercing blue eyes, reddish-brown hair, and light brown skin.

Alexis is also beautiful with her brown eyes and darker skin, and my hair color.

Since I have nothing but teenagers in the house, I busy myself with hobbies...like fishing...how I make a living...since I have a hard time getting out of the house, I need to find a profession that allows me to stay home.