Gen. 2: Babies 44 & 45: Sometime You Get Lucky

*KARLI'S POV*

While Mom is off having snot-rocket number who-the-hell-knows, Addie and I are stuck with taking care of Taber and Zivah...and let me tell you, these two are terrors...and they're gross...why is it all children under the age of twelve have hands and clothing covered in sticky stuff no matter what?  Like, seriously, I just gave Taber a bath, and he's got sticky stuff on his face and on his hands, and of course he wants me to pick him up and put him to bed.  Ick.

There is a good thing though, Addie does not share my disgust, which is good...she can take care of the little brats.  Don't get me wrong, I love my siblings, they're just gross...and we have another one coming in?  Ewwwww....

Luckily, Mom comes home with our new little brother, Eljavon (Eljavon?  Really Mom?), puts him to bed and goes directly to sleep.  Unluckily, the next day she says she's going out.

KARLI: Mo-om!  Can we please age the two little blue monsters up?  They know all their basic necessities and Addie and I can't take care of two toddlers and an infant...

BONNIE: *looks at me suspiciously* Sure, I'd really rather age them up.  Taber had grape jelly in his hair this morning.  Didn't you give him a bath?

I throw my hands up in the air...and not to say ay-oh...

KARLI: I gave him a bath, but he was still covered in sticky stuff...

BONNIE: That's usually a good indication to leave him in the tub a little longer...or use soap...shampoo maybe?

KARLI: *eye roll* I'm not stupid Mom...I did all that...he just got hold of jelly sometime between the bath and bed.

BONNIE: Okay, well, after they age up, please make sure they both take baths tonight...and send them directly to bed...I don't want the sandy, wet pajamas I used to have to wash with the two of you.

KARLI: Okay Mom. *eye roll*

*BONNIE'S POV*

Have you ever began to sympathize with those mothers that go off the deep end and drown their children?  Today is definitely one that makes me relate.

Before I head out, first Taber ages up.  He's a super cutie with my hair color, his father's skintone, and it looks like a combination of the two of us otherwise.

Zivah looks more like her father, with his hair and weight problem unfortunately, but she's still cute.

When I leave the house, Elj is down for a nap, Taber and Zivah are playing, and Addie and Karli are doing their homework.  It's calm for now, so I high-tail it out the door before they can start chasing after me.

I head out to this Egyptian themed swanky club and run smack into this odd man right before I walk past security.  Turns out this is Jason Gideon and he is another colleague of Derek Morgan's wanting to take part in my baby challenge.  Of course I accept and he's excited, but he also starts telling me all about how the way I stand tells him that I had a lot of sibling rivalry when I was younger.  Weird.

After we get out of the elevator and we hear a lullaby over the snooze tunes, he hits the dance floor and I go to the bar for a drink.

BARTENDER: What'll it be?

BONNIE: Virgin Passion Fruitini.

BARTENDER: Coming up.

As I am handed my drink, the man sitting directly to my left turns and stares at me before speaking.

NOSY MAN: You can tell a lot about a person by their choice of drink.

BONNIE: I've had enough psychoanalyzing for the night, thanks.

NOSY MAN: What are you running away from?

BONNIE: Excuse me?

NOSY MAN: You come to a bar and order a non-alcoholic beverage.  You could have gone to a malt shop or a drink machine, but you didn't.  You still came to a bar.  I wonder why that is?

BONNIE: I just needed to get out of the house.

NOSY MAN: Hmm, fight with your boyfriend?

BONNIE: How do you know it's not my husband?

NOSY MAN: No ring.

BONNIE: I could have just taken it off.

NOSY MAN: No tan line.

BONNIE: Maybe I'm allergic to the sun.

NOSY MAN: Nah, you look like you enjoy the sun frequently.

BONNIE: And how would you know so much about me?
NOSY MAN: I make it my business to know things about people.

BONNIE: Are you a psychic?

NOSY MAN: Ha!  Close...I'm...a...maid.

BONNIE: A maid?

NOSY MAN: Well, a housekeeper...but you learn a lot cleaning up after people.

BONNIE: I'll bet.  Do you have a name, Mr. Maid?

MR. MAID: Yeah, Brendan...Brendan Morrissey.

BONNIE: Nice to meet you, Brendan.  My name is Bonnie.

I have to admit, Brendan is cute.  He's got big brown eyes, dark hair...pretty teeth.  Maybe he can be a future father?

BRENDAN: So, was I right?  Fight with your boyfriend?

BONNIE: No, I have kids...they're driving me crazy..

BRENDAN: Kids huh?  Plural?  How many do you have?

BONNIE: Um...five.

Something tells me I should probably tell him that I actually have 43 children, but I can't bring myself to.  I would like to not be a challenge mother tonight...for once.

Besides, I think his eyeballs are going to fall out of his skull at the mention of five.

BRENDAN: Wow...you don't look old enough for five kids...

BONNIE: Well, thanks...but I'm getting older by the day with this brood.

BRENDAN: We're all getting older by the day.

BONNIE: Well, I'm aging at an accelerated rate.

BRENDAN: Sounds like you need a vacay.

BONNIE: Ha!  Yeah, sure, like I ever have time.

BRENDAN: You should visit Lucky Palms...it's beautiful there.

BONNIE: Yeah, but I'm not really into gambling.

BRENDAN: There's more to do there than gamble...

BONNIE: Oh, have you been?

BRENDAN: I...uh...I used to live there.

BONNIE: Oh...okay.

BRENDAN: I kind of miss it...this bar reminds me of home a bit.

Hmm, the poor guy.  He's resorted to hanging out in a bar to remind himself of home?  Now that's rough.

BONNIE: How long have you been living here?

BRENDAN: Only a few months.

BONNIE: What made you move?  If you're so homesick...

BRENDAN: Oh..uh...just needed a change of scenery for a little bit.  Well, uh, Bonnie, it was nice to meet you, but I've gotta run.

BONNIE: Uh...yeah...you too...

And before I know it, he's gone.  Hmm, what a strange guy.  And why would he possibly need to leave?  A vacuum emergency?  Oh well, at least he was cute.

I finish my drink and decide to head home.  I guess I can't avoid my children any longer.

The next morning, after getting the kids off to school, I am interrupted by nausea...and spend the rest of the morning bent over the toilet.  Great.  I only have a million things to do.  I have a house to clean, laundry to do, pets to feed, a garden to tend to, I should work on a sculpture, the list goes on...and I can't do anything because I can't stop puking.

After spending most of the day either laying down or puking, I am finally feeling well enough to get started on  my chores.  The first thing I have to do is feed the pets.  If they starve to death, I will never hear the end of it from my kids.

As I'm finishing up, my phone rings.

BONNIE: Hello?

VOICE: Yeah, may I speak with Bonnie?

BONNIE: This is she.  What can I do for you?

Please don't be selling something.

VOICE: Uh...it's Brendan.

BONNIE: Brendan?  Wait...how did you get my number?

BRENDAN: Um...well, I guess I'm resourceful.

BONNIE: Uh-huh, you're also dodging...so...uh...what's up?

BRENDAN: Well...I just wanted to tell you that I had a good time talking to you last night...and...I was wondering if maybe I could take you out sometime.

BONNIE: T-take me out?  Like a date?

BRENDAN: Um...yeah, exactly like a date.

Hmm.  I haven't dated anyone since I started this challenge, and I have heard so many horror stories about other challenge moms that decided to date...of course, some have worked out, but not without issues.  Do I really want to take that on?

BRENDAN: Bonnie?  Um, you're really making me sweat over here...look, if it's not a good time...

BONNIE: Oh, that's not it.  I would really like to go out with you sometime.

BRENDAN: Oh, ok.  Great.  Well...uh, I have to go right now, but...I'll call you later and set it up, okay?

BONNIE: Sure...

BRENDAN: Great.  Okay...um, bye.

BONNIE: Bye.

Oh wow.  I am really in uncharted territory.  I really don't know what to do...there's several people I can call, but I call the obvious choice.

BONNIE: Hey Mom!

HADLEY: Hey!  Well, it's about time you called me...I was wondering how everything was going there.  You and Illena haven't blown the place up with your sparring, have you?

BONNIE: No...but we avoid each other pretty much all the time...I'm actually calling because I need your advice.

HADLEY: Sure...hey, hold on, let me put TJ down...and...oh shit.

BONNIE: Mom?  Is everything okay?

HADLEY: Yeah, just this damn cat...clawed the hell out of my coffee table...I swear, I'm gonna kill it...then I'm gonna kill Mason...he thinks he is safe because I love him, but bringing Sir Evil Kitty into this house is a traitorous offense.

I can't help but bust out laughing as I listen to my mom bitching about everything going on there as she finishes feeding my little brother and putting him in his swing.  Even though she is complaining about Mason, I know how much she loves him.  With that thought in mind, I tell her about Brendan and his date offer.

BONNIE: I just don't know if I should even try to get into something...

HADLEY: Look Bonnie, right now it's just a date...coffee, or a drink...maybe dinner...don't stress about it too much.  It does take a special guy to be able to handle challenge mothers, but lots of us have made it work...and I'm telling you sweetie, I am so glad I finally got Mason.  I didn't know what I was missing not being with him...so don't discount finding love just because of your challenge.

Hmm, some pretty sappy words coming from a former commitment phobe.  

We talk for a few more minutes until she has to go because TJ is screaming, the dog is pooping on the carpet, and the cat is clawing at the blinds.

I hang up with her laughing.  She seems so happy.  I wonder if I would be that happy with a husband?  Oh geez, a guy just wants to go out with me and I'm thinking about marriage?  Damn.  Get a grip, Bonnie!

Turns out I don't need to worry about getting a grip because Eljavon starts screaming and I have to tend to him.  Grip officially gotten.  I change his diaper, give him a bottle and play "This Little Piggy" with his toes before heading out to clean a litter box that is seriously overdue for a scrubbing.

When I get there, I see Mr. Pickles...all grown up!  He went and aged up without me!

He's still a cute little orange and white cat.

Of course, after all this phone calling and puking, the day is close to over and the kids are arriving home from school.

They get started on their homework while I get started on dinner.  I have a craving for mac and cheese.  I know it has like, no nutritional value, but damn is it good!

Of course, I have to listen to Taber claim he's king of the world while I'm cooking.  Ha, yeah, sure, you're not the first kid to do that, son.

During dinner, Addie and Karli tell me they have made A's in school and are ready to age up.  Even though the younger kids are far from aging up and I really need their help around here, I have to let them go.

Addie ages up into a beautiful woman with eggplant colored hair and a love of the arts.  She actually wants to be a Master of the Arts.

Karli on the other hand is more business-minded and wants to be a CEO.

The next day, Brendan calls me back.

BRENDAN: Hey, I know this is short notice, but I was really wanting to see that new zombie movie that's in the theater right now...wanna go with me?

BONNIE: Oooh, zombies!  I love zombie movies...but...uh...can I take a rain check?  Um...my kids are sick with a stomach bug and I don't want to leave them with a sitter tonight.

BRENDAN: Oh...um, okay.  Well, later than, okay?

BONNIE: Yeah, I'll call you when they get better.

I get off the phone with Brendan and feel guilty for lying, but I have another reason for skipping out on our date.

I have started showing...and I'm pretty sure I don't want to spend my first date worried if he can see my baby bump.

Just having kids in the house is rough because everything falls to me, and I would almost rather keep Eljavon an infant, but I know that's not fair to him, so it's birthday time.

He grows up to look a whole lot like me, but he has grey eyes, and sadly, he doesn't have that famous Calista Smith hair color...hmph.  I was really hoping he would...and where this brown came from, I have no idea, but he's still cute.

Meanwhile, my stomach is definitely too big for dating now.

It's okay though, I spend the weekend with Elj teaching him to talk.  He's another chatty one and of all the phrases he could learn first, he learns "Medicine is yuck."

Of course, my back is hurting like crazy during this pregnancy, so I really want to put him in his swing for a nap while I take a bubble bath.

BONNIE: Hey Elj, wanna ride in your swing?

ELJAVON: Hmm...no...I want to stay with Mommy.

BONNIE: Not even if I put your teddy in there with you?  You can both swing...won't that be fun?

After a lot of coaxing...and promises of cookies and bottles of milk, I get him in his swing, and thankfully, he passes right out.

Ahh, sweet bubble bath, how I have missed you!

This is pure heaven...perfection...I soak for awhile because Eljavon is right outside and I will be able to hear him if he yells and the other kids are keeping themselves occupied.

Taber is playing outside with the cat...

...and Zivah is watching TV.  I would much rather her be outside playing, but apparently she's not much of an outdoor girl.

Of course when I get out of the tub, the spicket starts spewing water...grrreat.

Just another thing for me to have to fix.

After a long day, I decide to play outside in the sprinkler.

Of course the baby has a better idea....

After a long labor, Baby 44: Niyah Reed comes on the scene...

Annnnd she's not alone...

Her sister, Baby 45: Tanison Reed joins her.