They Should Make an Instruction Manual for Things Like This

As soon as I came out of my trans or whatever it was, I know what I have to do.  I know what my heart wants, and I'm listening to it for the first time.
I get dressed hurriedly and call out to Iana that I'll be back soon as I run out the door.
I need to hurry...it could be too late.

I pull up and get out of the car, taking a deep breath and praying for strength.
"Okay Hadley," I tell myself, "I hope you know what you're doing."

Before I can get to the door, Mason walks outside.
"Hey, Hadley," he greets me, "what's going on?"
My mouth is so dry and my heart is betting so fast, I don't know if I can get the words out, "I need to talk to you, Mason."
He walks down to meet me, "Okay, shoot."
I lose my nerve for a minute, "Can we take a walk?"
He looks at me strangely, but agrees, "Okay...sure."

As we head down the street, suddenly I stop.  I have to get this out.
Mason: What's the matter?
Me: Mason, I have something to tell you.
Mason: Okay...
Me: I...I...
I am really freaking out right now...how am I ever going to get this out...I am so afraid...what if it's too late?

Mason: Hadley, calm down.  It's okay, whatever it is, just...
Me: I love you.
I sputter it out before I can change my mind again.



Mason: W-what?
Me: Please don't make me repeat it...I'm so sorry I'm blind-siding you with this...I know this is probably the worst time...
Mason: Hadley...
Me: ...and I know you're getting married soon...
Mason: Hadley...
Me: ...and I know you probably don't feel the same way...
Mason: Hadley...
Me: ...but I swear I've felt this way for a long time...I just didn't know how to show it...



He grabs my hands.
Mason: Baby, stop.
I have a lump in my throat the size of a grapefruit and my heart is beating so hard, I'm pretty sure they can hear it from space.  I want to look at him and I don't want to look at him.
When I finally look up at him, I feel like I want to cry. He looks at me with the same kind eyes I have known my entire life...and I know it's too late...
Me: It doesn't matter, does it?
He looks down, as if he's thinking...then looks back up at me and smiles.
Mason: I love you too.

Huh?  Did I hear him right?

Mason: ...and I have been waiting to hear those sweet words come out of your mouth since we were back in grammar school.
Me: Really?
Mason: Yes.
Me: ...because I was in kindergarten when you were in grammar school...that's kind of creepy.
Mason sighs and looks away, but starts laughing.
Mason: Leave it to you to make a joke right now.
Me: *feeling guilty* Sorry...I can't help it...I make bad jokes when I'm nervous...go on...



Mason: My point, you crazy woman, is this:  Some people are born just knowing something about themselves.  I have known - for as long as I can remember - that I was born to love you.

Okay, I start crying...wouldn't you cry if someone said that to you?
I look into his eyes and see exactly what I have seen every time I have looked at him before, but this time I am allowing myself to admit what I already know....what I have really always known...that I was born to love him too.



But then I remember something...
Me: Mason, what about your fiance?  Or your *gulp* wife?
Mason: I'm not married, Hadley.  I couldn't go through with it.  I got discouraged for a minute, but I came to my senses...I knew I wasn't ready to give up on us.
I shake my head.
Me: You waited for me?  For this long?  How...?
Mason: I knew you loved me too...I knew I just had to be patient with you and let you figure that out for yourself.
Me: Why is everyone insistent on making me figure out things for myself?
Mason: *raises his eyebrows and gives me a look* You don't learn anything any other way.
Me: *blushing* Okay, I guess I am a little...
Mason: Stubborn as hell...
Me: Hey...
Butt then he wraps his arms around me, pulls me close, and I feel that same warm, protected feeling I have always felt, but now my heart is beating a mile a minute with his body pressed against mine.
I wrap my arms around him as well...



He turns his head and I turn mine, then our lips meet and it's like our bodies are folding in together...made perfectly for each other.



He pulls away from me and looks into my eyes.  I smile back at him.
Me: That was much better than I remember.



Mason: I've been working on it while I waited for you to wise up.
I laugh and we kiss again.
From that point, we get away from the creepo paparazzi that is taking pictures and booing us.  Mason has to go to work and I have some errands to run, but I leave feeling like a different woman.



But then I remember...I am pregnant with another man's baby...