Monday, November 26, 2012

Gen. 2: Baby 53 Pt. 2: Crazy, I'm Crazy for Feeling Like I Was Lied To


May I introduce you all to the view from my back yard.  Can you say gorgeous?

Anyway...

The day after I had my appointment with Nico to impregnate me with Baby 53, I have a date with Brendan...and of course, I'm nauseous.

BRENDAN: ...so I want to find the biggest, juciest, greasiest burger possible today...I'm starving.
BONNIE: *puke in mouth*


BRENDAN: Hey, you okay babe?  You look a little green.
BONNIE: Oh, yeah, just Italian sperm taking a toll on me.
BRENDAN: Oh, so you...uh...what did you end up doing?
BONNIE: As if you didn't know, traitor...and for the record, in the future, please don't tell my business to other people...
BRENDAN: Oh...yeah, Gia...I'm sorry, babe, I just thought maybe she could pull some strings in the sperm bank or something...and I guess she did, right?  I mean, you're pregnant?
BONNIE: Dude, yes...and I thought you knew...she offered up her brother...

Brendan looks like I just told him I was giving birth to an ostrich.
BRENDAN: Nico??!!!
BONNIE: Yeah, why?
BRENDAN: Bonnie!  Are you crazy?  He's insane!
BRENDAN: What are you talking about?
BRENDAN: He's actually insane...like criminally...he got off on a technicality this last time, but he was certified insane during his last assault charge.


Assault?  Criminal?  Insane?
I think I'm going to faint.

I start to fall back and Brendan catches me.
BONNIE: Why didn't you tell me?
BRENDAN: Because I didn't know, obviously.  I never would have let you use Nico...he really is..well, let's just say unstable.
BONNIE: Can I get a restraining order?
BRENDAN: Won't help...
BONNIE: Why not?
BRENDAN: Trust me...
BONNIE: Well, what am I going to do?  How am I going to protect myself...and my kids?


BRENDAN: Baby, I promise you, I will do whatever I can to keep you and your kids safe.  I promise.
BONNIE: That's sweet hon, but can't we get a 'round the clock security detail?
BRENDAN: Let's just hope Nico forgets all about it.

Despite my worries about carrying a mentally unstable person's child, I have to continue with life normally for the rest of my kids.


Which of course, means birthdays...


Rione ages up to look just like his father, with his hair and everything.


Adovie looks like Spencer too, and both of them are so smart.


Being pregnant with Nico's child has made Brendan want to stay around even more...which I am definitely not complaining about.


...and my belly just keeps growing.
I find myself talking to my bump a lot this time, basically begging crazy not to be genetic.


Ultimately, whatever is going to happen is inevitable though, and that includes when my labor starts.


After a relatively short labor, I give birth to Baby 53: Polanne Reed.



Sunday, November 25, 2012

Gen. 2: Baby 53 Pt. 1: Getting in Bed With the Wrong Person


Our first day in the new house is very relaxing.  I miss our old house for so many reasons.  1) The location was gorgeous, right on the beach, secluded, perfect for a quiet, outdoorsy person like myself.  2) My Meemaw Zoey made the house and I knew there was no way I could find a house that came even close to how gorgeous that was.  She has unparalleled talents, let me tell you.

Having said all that, the big problem I had with that location was that because it was so secluded, my kids had to hike out to the side of the road and wait for the bus instead of just running out when it honked, like they can do now.  Of course, that means that Rione and Adovie can spend time goofing off before school.

BONNIE: Are you kids ready to go?
RIONE: Yes Mom!  Geez!  Don't have a cow.
BONNIE: Right, I'll have two unruly children instead...do you want breakfast?
ADOVIE: I'm too excited to eat...

*Eye roll*  Okay, if these two didn't look so much like Spencer, I would swear they gave me the wrong babies at the hospital.  Excited for school, not wanting to eat...weirdos.


Either way, when the bus comes, they just run right outside, no screaming about missing it, no frantically running around trying to find their lunches, it's just peaceful.  I don't know how to handle it.  I think I have become conditioned to run around frantically in the morning.


While the older kids are at school, I work with Serge and Julianna to finish up with their skills. I want to age them up today, and thankfully, it looks like that's going to happen.


Serge picks up talking quickly, and seems to have a lot of opinions about things, which is no surprise given he's a part Reed, part Everard child. 


Julianna picks up talking pretty easily as well, although she was much better at walking.

Finally, I am able to age them up!


Serge has my hair color and looks a whole lot like my mother.  He has her big bright eyes, which makes me miss her.  I'm going to have to visit her soon!


Julianna looks a lot like my mom as well, but she has Jesse's brown hair and light skin.

Both kids are good to go and ready for school the next day.

THE NEXT DAY...


Because I don't have any time to meet him, I just call Brendan on the phone...yes, in the bathroom.  Hey, I'm a mother...this is the only place I get any privacy!

I am on my own for the day and realize that I'm going to have to find another baby daddy soon...but I feel weird about it...dating Brendan and all...ugh...this is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be...of course I could just go the artificial insemination route...


BONNIE: What is your opinion of sperm donors?
BRENDAN: Um...they really have their future in the palm of their hands...

Break for insane laughter...from him.

BONNIE: Did you notice something missing from that joke?
BRENDAN: No...
BONNIE: It was laughter...that's what it was.
BRENDAN: Ouch!  That's harsh, Reed!
BONNIE: Any-way...I was thinking more along the lines of me using them now...ya' know...since we're dating...
BRENDAN: I don't know what's creepier...you sleeping with some guy, or using a sperm donor that could have an extra toe for all you know.
BONNIE: They do background checks...and...ugh...never mind.

This conversation is going nowhere...I guess it's up to me to decide.


Since I don't have any little kids at home, I can get out of the house without having to listen to screaming and whining, so I take a walk and end up in this beautiful park...with a wishing well.


Looking at the well, I figure I have nothing to lose.

"I wish for a baby daddy."

There goes my quarter.  And that was a quarter, so it better come true....ugh, I am too cheap.

I hang around the park for a little bit, then realize I'm bored, so I decide to head to the library...I think I saw one somewhere around here.


As I walk up the stairs to the entrance, I immediately regret my decision when I see none other than Ms. Gia Esposito standing at the top in almost nothing...who wears this to the library?
GIA: Bonnie!  What a surprise!
*kiss, kiss, fake, fake*
BONNIE: I feel exactly the same Gia, how are you?
GIA: Oh, the same as always, just having an afternoon workout...
(the bitch)
GIA: ...then I got a call from Brendan and he told me all about your challenge...
BONNIE: He wha...?
GIA: Yeah, and he was saying you were looking for a father for your next baby, and how you weren't wanting to have a random hookup, but sperm donations just seem weird...and I don't blame you, I mean, we're in a city where people are strapped for money all the time...you don't even want to know what kind of guys they let into the sperm bank here...ewww.
BONNIE: Yeah.
GIA: Well, I have an idea...I know you don't know this, but I have a brother...


BONNIE: A brother?
GIA: Yes, and a father, actually...and, well, I don't want to brag, but we have exceptional genes...
BONNIE: Um...so...does he understand the whole thing about me raising the child?  He can have contact, but that's it...
GIA: Oh, of course, Nico doesn't have any interest in being a father right now.
BONNIE: Nico, huh?
GIA: Yes, so this way, you can kind of at least know who the donor is...
BONNIE: Um...well, and Brendan is okay with it?
GIA: Ha!  Well, I would assume so, he came to me for help, didn't he?  What was I going to do?  Give you my own sperm?  Haha!
BONNIE: ew...
GIA: Of course, I know my genes would be ideal, but Nico's will have to do.
BONNIE: Um...
GIA: Oh come on, Bonnie, just say yes...
BONNIE: Um...
GIA: Good enough for me!  Nico!  Come here!  This is Bonnie!


Both Nico and Senior Esposito have receding hairlines, but I won't hold that against them...
I guess Nico Esposito is going to be my next baby daddy.

...I keep thinking I'm going to regret this.