Babies 24 & 25: When a Tornado Meets a Volcano

I usually try not to judge people on their appearances, but Zsadist looks terrifying, and his mannerisms don't help anything. He kind of glares and snarls at me.

Zsadist: I know I'm not much to look at, if you can't bring yourself to sleep with me, I understand. I can just leave.

I think about what he just said...and something in me wants to help him. He looks like he's had a really rough life. I mean, I don't know what's happened to him, but he probably didn't put that big scar on his face himself.
Even though he is muscular like all the warrior vampires, he is very skinny. I wonder why.

Me: No, I want you to stay.
I can't be sure, but he looks pleased.

I run my hand down his face. He closes his eyes. He seems to like it.
He reminds me of a wounded stray dog that hasn't been treated very well. He's weary about everything, even my attempts at affection.

Eventually though, he leans into my touch and looks at me with those remarkable yellow eyes.

I lean in and give him a quick kiss. He jumps as though he has been stunned, but his lips seek mine out.

Eventually, he wraps his tattooed arms around me and pulls me in for a deep, passionate kiss.

We move into my bedroom and it's clear that I'm going to have to take the lead here.

Under that rough exterior, he's really very timid and gentle. Soon, we get to baby making!

Once we're done and that little lullaby sounds, Zsadist goes downstairs and practices on the martial arts dummy. He seems to like to spend time alone. It's a little different than Rhage (actually a lot different), but I let him be.

I'm dealing with all the things I normally deal with...like toilets exploding all over me! Grrreat!

I have a conversation with my son.
Me: You know, booby trapping the toilet is a mean thing to do...
Eli: I know Mom, it wasn't me.

Sadly, I might believe him because it could be booby-trapped from when the quints were still living here. Ugh, having so many kids, it's hard to figure out who to yell at!

Early the next morning, the nausea started...yippy skippy...

Zsadist has weird ideas of fun. He's mean-spirited, so he spent some time in the sandbox kicking down some of the kids' sculptures. Well, at least Elijah wasn't there to see him.

While Z did his own thing, so did I...

I was painting when I felt like someone was watching me...hmmm...

Zsadist snuck up behind me and scared the crap out of me!

I turned around and went off on him.
Me: What is wrong with you? You're just mean! I don't get it. I've been nothing but nice to you and you have to be a jerk!
Zsadist snarled at me.

Zsadist: How can you accuse me of being mean? You're just as bad as I am! I didn't even want to come here!

I was furious!
Me: If you didn't want to come here, you shouldn't have. I would have been fine without such a pain in my ass!

It was like that for awhile. He got into playing video games or practicing his martial arts. I avoided him.

We got in another argument, but to be honest, I don't even know what it was about.

I leaned in and started yelling at him...

But then he grabbed me and gave me a passionate kiss...what the hell is wrong with me? Fighting with him somehow turns me on...we made our way to the bedroom.

Hmm...this reminds me of that Eminem song..."when a tornado meets a volcano"

He was more forceful this time...I guess fighting is an aphrodisiac...hehe.

That night, I decided to show him around town. We went to Vanity first...

Then we went to the Copa Cabana and danced all night!

When I started showing more, Z hit the clubs alone...I'm not really sure what he was doing, but I found out...

He got banned from The Indigo Room for feeding on the bouncer. Way to go, buddy!

He wasn't too excited about the pregnancy. I talked to him one day about it.
Me: You know, I'm thinking I may be having multiples.
Z: Hmm, yeah.
Me: What's with you? You don't seem to care at all that I'm carrying your babies...
Z: You know, you don't have to pick a fight with me to get some...
Me: (rolling my eyes) that's not what I'm doing. Seriously, just listen to my tummy...

He rolled his eyes and timidly brought his ear closer to me, but not close enough...
Me: Come on, Z, you're not going to hurt them, just listen...

Zsadist: Are you sure? I don't want to mess something up...
Me: You won't...I promise.

He finally leans his head in closer and opens his eyes and mouth in amazement.
Z: Wow...I can hear them...
Me: Yeah, (laughing) with your extra-sensitive vampire hearing, it's pretty easy.

Soon enough, it was my due date...I have never seen this kind of reaction from anyone, most people freak out, but Z seemed catatonic.
Me: Um, Z...you do realize we need to go to the hospital, right?

Finally he came to his senses and took me to the hospital. I'm not about to do the whole homebirth thing again, at least not for awhile.

As we were walking in, there were a ton of people outside freaking out. Then afterward, Zsadist told me that bigger woman in the football jersey and the man in the ripped jeans kept giving each other flowers. He said it was the weirdest thing he'd ever seen. I told him that's what normal people do to show they care about each other. He scoffed.

After a few hours of epidural bliss (God bless hospitals!), I gave birth to Baby 24: Will (William) Reed.

...and Baby 25: Finn Reed.

Soon after, Zsadist had to leave.
Me: You know, I'm going to miss your crabby a**.
Zsadist: I'm gonna miss you bitchin' at me all the time too.

I gave him a hug goodbye. This is definitely the weirdest relationship I have ever had.

Is There Something Wrong?

The first thing I had to do when I woke up in the morning after my amazing night with Wrath was go to the paparazzi and address the whole "biting people" rumor that is being spread about me...ok...so it's not so much a rumor...at least in the "untrue" sense...sooo, I bit someone...it was just a little nibble...it's not like I even took that much...ugh, oh well, so I'm off to pay off the paparazzi to shut their mouths about the whole thing...

By the time I get home, the morning sickness has already started. Ugh, I HATE this part...

...but it continues...

I am, however very proud of myself...I made Plasma Fruit Cobbler that Wrath, Vicki, and I can all eat! I didn't even think about how difficult it would be to cook dinners for my family when I don't even need food anymore.

...not that it matters what I eat, because I'm puking ALL THE TIME...ok, I don't think it's fair that all I can drink is blood and I have MORE morning sickness as a vampire...yeah, remember the worst thing you've ever thrown up? Throwing up blood is around, oh, I don't know...100 times worse than throwing up anything else...

But I can't stop! Why?! Why?! I have thrown up more during this pregnancy than any other...

Finally, the throwing up stage was over and my baby bump appeared!

My daughter Emily came over and I told her I was having a baby, but she didn't take it as well as I thought she was going to...I should have remembered that she hates children...

So we argued the whole time...hey, at least I can blame my pregnancy hormones...she's just bitchy...hehe.

Eventually though, she warmed to the idea and felt my tummy, but she felt something weird...
Emily: Um, mom...have you been to the doctor yet?
Me: No, why? What's wrong? Is there something wrong with my baby?
Emily: I think you should come with me to the hospital...